Season 3 Finale—“Two Plane Rides”


Excuse us for still needing time to process, but that was one hell of a finale for the third season of one of our favorite shows. The “Girls” finale had everything— MFAs, infidelity, a failed Glaciology course, and even an attempted assisted suicide. Literally, EVERYTHING. There is so much to cover for the finale, but we want to thank everyone was was reading along with us this season, and for anyone involved in the live-tweeting during the show. 
THREE QUOTES: 
1. Shosana makes her feelings very clear to Ray at the start of “Major Barbara”: 
"We’re going to have a chat. At intermission, you’re going to buy me some m&m’s and we’re going to have a FUCKING CHAT"
2. Elijah grounding an excited Hannah in tenets of basic geography: 
Hannah: “You’re not going to be without me all the time, I’ll be back and forth— I’ll be bi-coastal.”
Elijah: “Iowa is not a coast.” 
3. Jessa gets a dose of sobering reality from a suicidal artist: 
Beadie: “Jessa, don’t you take any of these pills after I’m gone.” 
Jessa: “I won’t— I, somehow they don’t look nearly as fun when they’re being used to murder someone.” 
TWO IMAGES:

1. #SHOSHRAGE: We’ve seen Shoshana let loose a few times this season [Beach house, anyone?], but this mosh pit for one was a perfect release, and the finale’s most GIF-able moment. 

2. Marnie= Creeper: Though she admits that she does not value the emotional property of other women and that she uses sex as a form of validation, it does not stop Marnie from creeping around corners, plotting her next move. DO NOT LEAVE YO MAN WITH MARNIE!

ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER: 
For the finale of this episode, we wanted to think through the idea of whether or not these characters are selfish, as many people on Twitter and Reddit have claimed, or if their decision making is appropriate for the time in their lives. Hannah and Ray, to us, seem like polar opposites in their view of the world, but they ended up as great case-studies for our final topic to explore further of the season— is it developmentally appropriate for people in their twenties to make “selfish” decisions? 


JP: Seven weeks ago, I got a call from the admissions department of a school informing me that I had been accepted into their grad program. I was so happy that I immediately called my family and told my friends— I even instagrammed a photograph of one of my acceptance letters. Hell, I wanted to tell anyone that would listen… I’M GOING TO BUSINESS SCHOOL. So, when I saw the look on Ms. Hannah Horvath’s face as she read her acceptance letter to the Iowa Writers Workshop, I felt so happy for her. She immediately called her parents who were ecstatic for her, helping her realize that she accomplished something big. She told Marnie, who instead of being jelly, was so happy for Hannah that she gave her an awk Marnie hug and told her that she HAS to go to Iowa. 
The episode, which was appropriately titled “Two Plane Rides,” explored what happens when distance starts to culminate in a relationship. Since Adam landed his role in Major Barbara, Hannah’s been hyper aware of her own creative shortcomings— flailing about, feeling unfulfilled at her job. Her jealousy of his Broadway success paired with her disdain for selling out creatively ultimately led to her quitting her cushy job at GQ. Some people criticized her decision to leave as being rash and ill planned but I couldn’t help but understand where she was coming from. She was selling out. She was working a job that was not fulfilling her. Meanwhile, her boyfriend and best friend were making strides in their creative pursuits. “Are you going to be O.K.?” Shosh asked. “Adam’s about to be on Broadway and Marnie’s clearly meant to be a pop star and, I don’t know, and you were like supposed to be the famous artist in this group.” 

Almost everyone I know is going through some sort of mid-twenties millennial quarter life crisis. The crisis of coming to grips with the fact that we’re not in college anymore and our decisions are ultimately shaping us to be the people we are going to be. The relationships we enter are a little more serious than they were while we were in undergrad. The jobs we take give us specific experience which often times narrows our future potential employment possibilities to be within that same field. Some people are getting engaged and others are Tindering themselves silly. Ultimately, we all want the same thing. We just want to be happy. We want to work a job that leaves us feeling fulfilled. We want to be in a relationship with someone we trust, love and support and we expect the same from our lover. 
Hannah getting into grad school is HUGE for her so it’s no surprise that she immediately wanted to share the news with everyone she cared about. Some have criticized her telling Adam right before he went on stage for the first time as a selfish move but I am hesitant to agree with that. She told Adam,  ”Watching you thrive creatively over these past few weeks has made me want to thrive…I want to find a whole new world in the shape of me and just fill it up.” Sure, Hannah could have waited until after the play to tell Adam, but Hannah is impulsive. She may be a ditz but I don’t think she was acting out of ill intention. She just wanted to share the good news with her lover. Hannah made a decision for Hannah. It wasn’t about dumping Adam (we don’t know what the future has in store for the two of them) but it was about her pursuing her own dreams. I’m excited for Hannah to have a more structured life to help guide her professionally, regardless if that means that end of the Hannah-Adam saga.


OP: In a show called “Girls,” I didn’t expect for Ray to be such a driving force for our characters’ development, but he’s been there through it all, sometimes involving himself in the drama, as well. I’ve always viewed Ray as a standing antithesis of our four central female protagonists, as his pessimistic view of the world and direct communication style is a breath of fresh air among so many characters who are still trying to figure out what they want, and whose lack of direction has provided the bulk of the plot points for the last three seasons of the show. But what’s interesting is that despite sleeping with his ex-girlfriend’s friend, being deeply insecure at times, and generally being an asshole, Ray does not get the same labels we throw at Hannah— narcissistic, self-centered, unrelatable,etc. Part of me of me thinks there is some serious male privilege at play, as men are allowed to make decisions for themselves while women may be expected to consider the thoughts and feelings of everyone that matters to them in order to make sound decisions, but Ray’s journey to this finale starts way back in Season 1. I also want to point out that I don’t think it’s wrong to be self-centered sometimes, as I’ve seen the negative impacts of friends and family members who put tremendous amount of emphasis on romantic relationships or making decisions for other people. 
The first time Ray seemed relevant on the series  is when he encouraged Charlie to read Hannah’s Diary, and subsequently performed excerpts of it in front of a live audience, which showed us that he was emotionally involved in the lives of the other characters on this show. Fast forward a few episodes, and now Ray is chasing after a squirrely undergrad after she accidentally smoked crack, thrusting himself right into the center of the ridiculous antics these characters find themselves in, and somehow, falling in love. But as much as he judged everyone else, Ray was deeply flawed and insecure, which led to his breakup with Shoshana, but also his major turning point as a character on the show. Set to the tune of Tame Impala’s “Elephant,” Ray marched into his bosses office and demanded a change, to be given more responsibility and prove to himself (and Shoshana) that he had his life somewhat together, that he was worth dating and not just some loser working at a coffee shop. 
You might be asking yourself— what the fuck does this have to do with being selfish? Well, thank you for being patient. I bring all of this up because while Ray made tremendous progress in his professional life in the past season by opening up a new Grumpy’s with a pizza oven, I think he’s had to realize that he’s no longer trying to prove something to Shoshana, but that he has to prove something to himself first. We saw this a few times this season already with his soliloquy outside of the bar at Hannah’s birthday (which provided the best line of the season in my opinion— “cool cigarette”), and making it clear to Marnie that they shouldn’t try to pursue anything romantically. Though hurt, Ray tries to create distance between himself and the other characters on the show, because he realizes that his happiness and success comes from a place of personal agency and control, not from the value others assign to his life. And yet, when the woman who caused the positive change in his life is in front of him, tears in her eyes and professing that she wants him back, he is able to create further distance, noting, “Shosh. Look, I’m eternally grateful to you, because I have a real job now, with real responsibilities…You pushed me forward in a lot of ways, and i’m eternally appreciative of that. But right now we’re in different places. We have very, very different goals.” To me, that is a self-centered act, where Ray is choosing to put himself first, and it is completely ok. I’m happy for him and proud that he could have that much restraint in an emotionally charged conversation. What is not ok is that Hannah, making similar choices that have serious impacts for her life and future, is viewed as selfish and narcissistic (though timing could be better, I admit) and is almost villainized by audiences of the show. Both Hannah and Ray realize that there are choices and opportunities that have long-term impact, and as much as you love and care for other people, there are points where you have to be your own personal priority. The point is, we’re all selfish to varying degrees, and it takes making some selfish choices in your twenties to be ready to make decisions that impact other people later on in your life. Ray is being protective of his heart and his personal stability in the season finale because sometimes, you just gotta do you. 
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

Season 3 Finale—“Two Plane Rides”

Excuse us for still needing time to process, but that was one hell of a finale for the third season of one of our favorite shows. The “Girls” finale had everything— MFAs, infidelity, a failed Glaciology course, and even an attempted assisted suicide. Literally, EVERYTHING. There is so much to cover for the finale, but we want to thank everyone was was reading along with us this season, and for anyone involved in the live-tweeting during the show.

THREE QUOTES:

1. Shosana makes her feelings very clear to Ray at the start of “Major Barbara”:

"We’re going to have a chat. At intermission, you’re going to buy me some m&m’s and we’re going to have a FUCKING CHAT"

2. Elijah grounding an excited Hannah in tenets of basic geography:

Hannah: “You’re not going to be without me all the time, I’ll be back and forth— I’ll be bi-coastal.”

Elijah: “Iowa is not a coast.”

3. Jessa gets a dose of sobering reality from a suicidal artist:

Beadie: “Jessa, don’t you take any of these pills after I’m gone.”

Jessa: “I won’t— I, somehow they don’t look nearly as fun when they’re being used to murder someone.”

TWO IMAGES:

1. #SHOSHRAGE: We’ve seen Shoshana let loose a few times this season [Beach house, anyone?], but this mosh pit for one was a perfect release, and the finale’s most GIF-able moment.

2. Marnie= Creeper: Though she admits that she does not value the emotional property of other women and that she uses sex as a form of validation, it does not stop Marnie from creeping around corners, plotting her next move. DO NOT LEAVE YO MAN WITH MARNIE!

ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER:

For the finale of this episode, we wanted to think through the idea of whether or not these characters are selfish, as many people on Twitter and Reddit have claimed, or if their decision making is appropriate for the time in their lives. Hannah and Ray, to us, seem like polar opposites in their view of the world, but they ended up as great case-studies for our final topic to explore further of the season— is it developmentally appropriate for people in their twenties to make “selfish” decisions?

JP: Seven weeks ago, I got a call from the admissions department of a school informing me that I had been accepted into their grad program. I was so happy that I immediately called my family and told my friends— I even instagrammed a photograph of one of my acceptance letters. Hell, I wanted to tell anyone that would listen… I’M GOING TO BUSINESS SCHOOL. So, when I saw the look on Ms. Hannah Horvath’s face as she read her acceptance letter to the Iowa Writers Workshop, I felt so happy for her. She immediately called her parents who were ecstatic for her, helping her realize that she accomplished something big. She told Marnie, who instead of being jelly, was so happy for Hannah that she gave her an awk Marnie hug and told her that she HAS to go to Iowa.

The episode, which was appropriately titled “Two Plane Rides,” explored what happens when distance starts to culminate in a relationship. Since Adam landed his role in Major Barbara, Hannah’s been hyper aware of her own creative shortcomings— flailing about, feeling unfulfilled at her job. Her jealousy of his Broadway success paired with her disdain for selling out creatively ultimately led to her quitting her cushy job at GQ. Some people criticized her decision to leave as being rash and ill planned but I couldn’t help but understand where she was coming from. She was selling out. She was working a job that was not fulfilling her. Meanwhile, her boyfriend and best friend were making strides in their creative pursuits. “Are you going to be O.K.?” Shosh asked. “Adam’s about to be on Broadway and Marnie’s clearly meant to be a pop star and, I don’t know, and you were like supposed to be the famous artist in this group.”

Almost everyone I know is going through some sort of mid-twenties millennial quarter life crisis. The crisis of coming to grips with the fact that we’re not in college anymore and our decisions are ultimately shaping us to be the people we are going to be. The relationships we enter are a little more serious than they were while we were in undergrad. The jobs we take give us specific experience which often times narrows our future potential employment possibilities to be within that same field. Some people are getting engaged and others are Tindering themselves silly. Ultimately, we all want the same thing. We just want to be happy. We want to work a job that leaves us feeling fulfilled. We want to be in a relationship with someone we trust, love and support and we expect the same from our lover.

Hannah getting into grad school is HUGE for her so it’s no surprise that she immediately wanted to share the news with everyone she cared about. Some have criticized her telling Adam right before he went on stage for the first time as a selfish move but I am hesitant to agree with that. She told Adam,  Watching you thrive creatively over these past few weeks has made me want to thrive…I want to find a whole new world in the shape of me and just fill it up.” Sure, Hannah could have waited until after the play to tell Adam, but Hannah is impulsive. She may be a ditz but I don’t think she was acting out of ill intention. She just wanted to share the good news with her lover. Hannah made a decision for Hannah. It wasn’t about dumping Adam (we don’t know what the future has in store for the two of them) but it was about her pursuing her own dreams. I’m excited for Hannah to have a more structured life to help guide her professionally, regardless if that means that end of the Hannah-Adam saga.

OP: In a show called “Girls,” I didn’t expect for Ray to be such a driving force for our characters’ development, but he’s been there through it all, sometimes involving himself in the drama, as well. I’ve always viewed Ray as a standing antithesis of our four central female protagonists, as his pessimistic view of the world and direct communication style is a breath of fresh air among so many characters who are still trying to figure out what they want, and whose lack of direction has provided the bulk of the plot points for the last three seasons of the show. But what’s interesting is that despite sleeping with his ex-girlfriend’s friend, being deeply insecure at times, and generally being an asshole, Ray does not get the same labels we throw at Hannah— narcissistic, self-centered, unrelatable,etc. Part of me of me thinks there is some serious male privilege at play, as men are allowed to make decisions for themselves while women may be expected to consider the thoughts and feelings of everyone that matters to them in order to make sound decisions, but Ray’s journey to this finale starts way back in Season 1. I also want to point out that I don’t think it’s wrong to be self-centered sometimes, as I’ve seen the negative impacts of friends and family members who put tremendous amount of emphasis on romantic relationships or making decisions for other people.

The first time Ray seemed relevant on the series  is when he encouraged Charlie to read Hannah’s Diary, and subsequently performed excerpts of it in front of a live audience, which showed us that he was emotionally involved in the lives of the other characters on this show. Fast forward a few episodes, and now Ray is chasing after a squirrely undergrad after she accidentally smoked crack, thrusting himself right into the center of the ridiculous antics these characters find themselves in, and somehow, falling in love. But as much as he judged everyone else, Ray was deeply flawed and insecure, which led to his breakup with Shoshana, but also his major turning point as a character on the show. Set to the tune of Tame Impala’s “Elephant,” Ray marched into his bosses office and demanded a change, to be given more responsibility and prove to himself (and Shoshana) that he had his life somewhat together, that he was worth dating and not just some loser working at a coffee shop.

You might be asking yourself— what the fuck does this have to do with being selfish? Well, thank you for being patient. I bring all of this up because while Ray made tremendous progress in his professional life in the past season by opening up a new Grumpy’s with a pizza oven, I think he’s had to realize that he’s no longer trying to prove something to Shoshana, but that he has to prove something to himself first. We saw this a few times this season already with his soliloquy outside of the bar at Hannah’s birthday (which provided the best line of the season in my opinion— “cool cigarette”), and making it clear to Marnie that they shouldn’t try to pursue anything romantically. Though hurt, Ray tries to create distance between himself and the other characters on the show, because he realizes that his happiness and success comes from a place of personal agency and control, not from the value others assign to his life. And yet, when the woman who caused the positive change in his life is in front of him, tears in her eyes and professing that she wants him back, he is able to create further distance, noting, “Shosh. Look, I’m eternally grateful to you, because I have a real job now, with real responsibilities…You pushed me forward in a lot of ways, and i’m eternally appreciative of that. But right now we’re in different places. We have very, very different goals.” To me, that is a self-centered act, where Ray is choosing to put himself first, and it is completely ok. I’m happy for him and proud that he could have that much restraint in an emotionally charged conversation. What is not ok is that Hannah, making similar choices that have serious impacts for her life and future, is viewed as selfish and narcissistic (though timing could be better, I admit) and is almost villainized by audiences of the show. Both Hannah and Ray realize that there are choices and opportunities that have long-term impact, and as much as you love and care for other people, there are points where you have to be your own personal priority. The point is, we’re all selfish to varying degrees, and it takes making some selfish choices in your twenties to be ready to make decisions that impact other people later on in your life. Ray is being protective of his heart and his personal stability in the season finale because sometimes, you just gotta do you.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Looking Glass” - Looking Season 1 Episode 8 Recap
Looking Back: 
As we noted at the start of last night’s episode on Twitter, it was hard for us to come to grips with the fact that this was the last episode of the season. We’ve spent the last 8 weeks in a committed relationship with these characters, and now… they’re gone. As Patrick cried to lament the end of his relationship with Richie [for the time being, anyway], parallel tears fell down our face when we thought about how we’ll have to wait until 2015 to see anything new from Dom, Agustin, Patrick, Richie, Frank or Doris. But, the finale gave us so much to hang our hat on and tied up so many storylines that we actually can’t complain. For the first time, we saw Dom actualized, if such a thing exists, as his pop-up was a hit, he expresses what he feels for Lin [with a bit of help from Doris], and finally feels comfortable in his age, proving that 40 is the new 28. The same, unfortunately, could not be said about Agustin, who after being called a “bored rich kid,” takes drugs, appears homeless, and just sorta meanders through the rest of the episode [but he learns some lessons along the way? I don’t know].
Which leaves us with Patrick, our bright-eyed protagonist who doesn’t always know what he wants. Though slightly cringe-worthy, Patrick’s “creepy stalker” moment in visiting Richie at work represented a genuine effort to listen and fight for something he believes in. Richie asking for “space,” left Patrick feeling confused about their relationship status, which is understandable since Richie has made a habit of pushing Patrick away. In this moment of vulnerability, Patrick still has to grapple with the fact that his boss kissed him at the wedding and is seeking excuses to see him all day. In the moment that sent Twitter into a frenzy, Patrick finally responds to Kevin’s calls and shows up to work at night, asking “Ok, so what am I doing here?” What ensued was one of the most interesting scenes to dissect of the season, as not only did Patrick succumb to Kevin’s passes, but he bottoms for his Kevin, which we have learned is not something he is comfortable with. The fact that Patrick bottoms for his boss and not his boyfriend gives us insight into how he views these two men, and leaves Patrick completely vulnerable and asking “So, now what?” Not sure what Patrick was expecting, but it’s clear that Patrick doesn’t mean any more to Kevin than he did 30 minutes ago, which can’t feel great. The season hits its peak as Richie comes to Patrick’s apartment and admits to moving too fast, being close to falling in love, and believing that Patrick is not ready for a relationship. The breakup scene was particularly heart-breaking less because of what was actually said, but because these two characters are barely able to maintain direct eye contact with one another, physically communicating that as much as they like each other, making this work as a relationship might not be a reasonable option— the pain is in giving up. Patrick’s singular tear down his cheek is both a representation of his hurt that it’s over, but also an acknowledgement that Richie is right, especially after just hooking up with his boss. You can’t say you want a boyfriend you’d be proud to bring home to mom in one breath, and then hook up with any man that shows a physical interest in you in another. Dejected and exposed, Patrick heads in to the only things that have been consistent in his life— a friend passed out on the couch and an episode of Golden Girls to cheer him up.
Looking Closer:
As a special tribute to our time reviewing “Looking” this season, we wanted to do something slightly different and cover our favorite moments from the past 8 episodes. We’ve covered topics such as mommy issues, internalized racism, and gender norms in relationships during our time with the blog, and this is an opportunity to reflect on what’s been said already, and consider all the things we may not have had the time to express fully week to week.
1. Meeting Mrs. Murray

We’ve clocked Patrick’s mommy issues as early as our episode one review, so imagine our delight when we finally got to meet the woman who has caused Patrick so much anxiety well into his adulthood. What we loved about Mrs. Murray is that she doesn’t let Patrick off the hook when he tries to blame her for his issues with men, and instead pushes him to examine himself and his own expectations for his life. When she pulls out an edible, it just confirms that Mrs. Murray has her own set of issues she’s dealing with, and represented a huge shift for many people in their 20s— viewing your parents as complex adults with their own set of hopes and fears, and not just as your parents.
2. Dom and Doris Go to Zumba

We’ve expressed so many times how much we love Dom and Doris’ friendship [perhaps because we see a bit of ourselves in them?], but the Zumba class they both attended was hilarious glimpse into their life, and how they are comfortable doing just about everything together. Doris seems to bring out the best in Dom, and we see that she is genuinely cares about and believes in Dom, even when he doesn’t always believe in himself.
3. #LatiNOshade: Richie and Agustin fight at Dolores Park

GURL— the claws came out in Episode 6! In one of the most brilliantly written scenes of the series, all sorts of class and ethnic tensions were unearthed for us to view and examine during Agustin and Richie’s verbal exchange after Agustin accuses Patrick of “slumming” by dating Richie. In an attempt to cover his tracks, Agustin attempts to relate to Richie by calling him “hermano”, which earned him nothing but a “Fuck you!” We were living for this scene, and were happy to be given the opportunity to use the hashtag #LatiNOshade. 
4. Kale Salad

At the end of the second episode, we found Patrick feeling dejected and racist after making Richie feel like he only pursued him because he was exotic and uncut, with only a bowl of macaroni and cheese to console him. And yet, when questioned about it, Patrick hilariously lied to Agustin and told him he was eating a kale salad… with chicken… because you should never admit to your gay friends that you’re eating carbs!!!! We loved this moment because it gave us some insight into Patrick’s body issues and fat-kid past, but mostly was just a hilarious white lie to close out an episode.
5. Golden Girls

The season ended much like the way it began— Patrick comes back to his apartment, single as fuck, with a passed-out Agustin to greet him on the couch. Opening up his laptop, an episode of “Golden Girls” is already pre-loaded, and just like that, things are back to normal. Though this could be interpeted as our characters having made no progress at all the entire season, it grounded us in the fact that this show is really about the friendship between these men. Jobs can change, men come and go, but your friends should be there through it all.
Looking Ahead:
We are still reeling from the finale, having gone through every emotion imaginable in a 30 minute window, but we can’t help but feel a little bummed out that it’s over. Luckily, the show was renewed for a second season, so we have something in the horizon to look forward to and a 9 month window to create our own theories of what’s next for our characters. As much as we enjoyed writing this blog, we are even more grateful that you’ve been there with us the entire way. Our aim with “Pass the Snacks” was to bring some of the rich dialogue occurring on Jenna’s couch every Sunday night into the digital sphere, and we’re so lucky to have met so many new voices along the way. Whether through our live-chats on Twitter or discussions on Reddit, THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!
Special thanks to the actors, costume designers, writers, directors and social media managers for giving us the chance  to engage on a deeper level with “Looking,” and for just hearing us out, honestly! A huge shout-out is in order to JC Lee for his consistent support from the beginning and for giving us the opportunity to engage.
As for us, we’ll be scoping out new shows to cover, but you can definitely expect reviews and write-ups for Mad Men’s final season and a bit of Rupaul’s Drag Race commentary here and there. Thanks again, y’all!
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Looking Glass” - Looking Season 1 Episode 8 Recap

Looking Back:

As we noted at the start of last night’s episode on Twitter, it was hard for us to come to grips with the fact that this was the last episode of the season. We’ve spent the last 8 weeks in a committed relationship with these characters, and now… they’re gone. As Patrick cried to lament the end of his relationship with Richie [for the time being, anyway], parallel tears fell down our face when we thought about how we’ll have to wait until 2015 to see anything new from Dom, Agustin, Patrick, Richie, Frank or Doris. But, the finale gave us so much to hang our hat on and tied up so many storylines that we actually can’t complain. For the first time, we saw Dom actualized, if such a thing exists, as his pop-up was a hit, he expresses what he feels for Lin [with a bit of help from Doris], and finally feels comfortable in his age, proving that 40 is the new 28. The same, unfortunately, could not be said about Agustin, who after being called a “bored rich kid,” takes drugs, appears homeless, and just sorta meanders through the rest of the episode [but he learns some lessons along the way? I don’t know].

Which leaves us with Patrick, our bright-eyed protagonist who doesn’t always know what he wants. Though slightly cringe-worthy, Patrick’s “creepy stalker” moment in visiting Richie at work represented a genuine effort to listen and fight for something he believes in. Richie asking for “space,” left Patrick feeling confused about their relationship status, which is understandable since Richie has made a habit of pushing Patrick away. In this moment of vulnerability, Patrick still has to grapple with the fact that his boss kissed him at the wedding and is seeking excuses to see him all day. In the moment that sent Twitter into a frenzy, Patrick finally responds to Kevin’s calls and shows up to work at night, asking “Ok, so what am I doing here?” What ensued was one of the most interesting scenes to dissect of the season, as not only did Patrick succumb to Kevin’s passes, but he bottoms for his Kevin, which we have learned is not something he is comfortable with. The fact that Patrick bottoms for his boss and not his boyfriend gives us insight into how he views these two men, and leaves Patrick completely vulnerable and asking “So, now what?” Not sure what Patrick was expecting, but it’s clear that Patrick doesn’t mean any more to Kevin than he did 30 minutes ago, which can’t feel great. The season hits its peak as Richie comes to Patrick’s apartment and admits to moving too fast, being close to falling in love, and believing that Patrick is not ready for a relationship. The breakup scene was particularly heart-breaking less because of what was actually said, but because these two characters are barely able to maintain direct eye contact with one another, physically communicating that as much as they like each other, making this work as a relationship might not be a reasonable option— the pain is in giving up. Patrick’s singular tear down his cheek is both a representation of his hurt that it’s over, but also an acknowledgement that Richie is right, especially after just hooking up with his boss. You can’t say you want a boyfriend you’d be proud to bring home to mom in one breath, and then hook up with any man that shows a physical interest in you in another. Dejected and exposed, Patrick heads in to the only things that have been consistent in his life— a friend passed out on the couch and an episode of Golden Girls to cheer him up.

Looking Closer:

As a special tribute to our time reviewing “Looking” this season, we wanted to do something slightly different and cover our favorite moments from the past 8 episodes. We’ve covered topics such as mommy issues, internalized racism, and gender norms in relationships during our time with the blog, and this is an opportunity to reflect on what’s been said already, and consider all the things we may not have had the time to express fully week to week.

1. Meeting Mrs. Murray

We’ve clocked Patrick’s mommy issues as early as our episode one review, so imagine our delight when we finally got to meet the woman who has caused Patrick so much anxiety well into his adulthood. What we loved about Mrs. Murray is that she doesn’t let Patrick off the hook when he tries to blame her for his issues with men, and instead pushes him to examine himself and his own expectations for his life. When she pulls out an edible, it just confirms that Mrs. Murray has her own set of issues she’s dealing with, and represented a huge shift for many people in their 20s— viewing your parents as complex adults with their own set of hopes and fears, and not just as your parents.

2. Dom and Doris Go to Zumba

We’ve expressed so many times how much we love Dom and Doris’ friendship [perhaps because we see a bit of ourselves in them?], but the Zumba class they both attended was hilarious glimpse into their life, and how they are comfortable doing just about everything together. Doris seems to bring out the best in Dom, and we see that she is genuinely cares about and believes in Dom, even when he doesn’t always believe in himself.

3. #LatiNOshade: Richie and Agustin fight at Dolores Park

GURL— the claws came out in Episode 6! In one of the most brilliantly written scenes of the series, all sorts of class and ethnic tensions were unearthed for us to view and examine during Agustin and Richie’s verbal exchange after Agustin accuses Patrick of “slumming” by dating Richie. In an attempt to cover his tracks, Agustin attempts to relate to Richie by calling him “hermano”, which earned him nothing but a “Fuck you!” We were living for this scene, and were happy to be given the opportunity to use the hashtag #LatiNOshade.

4. Kale Salad

At the end of the second episode, we found Patrick feeling dejected and racist after making Richie feel like he only pursued him because he was exotic and uncut, with only a bowl of macaroni and cheese to console him. And yet, when questioned about it, Patrick hilariously lied to Agustin and told him he was eating a kale salad… with chicken… because you should never admit to your gay friends that you’re eating carbs!!!! We loved this moment because it gave us some insight into Patrick’s body issues and fat-kid past, but mostly was just a hilarious white lie to close out an episode.

5. Golden Girls

The season ended much like the way it began— Patrick comes back to his apartment, single as fuck, with a passed-out Agustin to greet him on the couch. Opening up his laptop, an episode of “Golden Girls” is already pre-loaded, and just like that, things are back to normal. Though this could be interpeted as our characters having made no progress at all the entire season, it grounded us in the fact that this show is really about the friendship between these men. Jobs can change, men come and go, but your friends should be there through it all.

Looking Ahead:

We are still reeling from the finale, having gone through every emotion imaginable in a 30 minute window, but we can’t help but feel a little bummed out that it’s over. Luckily, the show was renewed for a second season, so we have something in the horizon to look forward to and a 9 month window to create our own theories of what’s next for our characters. As much as we enjoyed writing this blog, we are even more grateful that you’ve been there with us the entire way. Our aim with “Pass the Snacks” was to bring some of the rich dialogue occurring on Jenna’s couch every Sunday night into the digital sphere, and we’re so lucky to have met so many new voices along the way. Whether through our live-chats on Twitter or discussions on Reddit, THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!

Special thanks to the actors, costume designers, writers, directors and social media managers for giving us the chance  to engage on a deeper level with “Looking,” and for just hearing us out, honestly! A huge shout-out is in order to JC Lee for his consistent support from the beginning and for giving us the opportunity to engage.

As for us, we’ll be scoping out new shows to cover, but you can definitely expect reviews and write-ups for Mad Men’s final season and a bit of Rupaul’s Drag Race commentary here and there. Thanks again, y’all!

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Role-Play” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 10 Recap
THREE QUOTES: 
1) Adam noting the wedges coming between him and Hannah:
"I’m not here to fill up your life with f*ckin’ stories for your f*ckin Twitter." - Adam
2) After Soojin asks Marnie if she’d like to be her assistant, since her best homo-friend is already the Director of the Gallery:
Marnie: “How old are you?” 
Soojin: “Two-four GURL. But for the cred and intrigue of the gallery, I’m going to tell people I’m 22.”  
3) Shoshana attempting to reconcile Jasper and Dottie’s relationship: 
“She’s dating an Egyptian, so she’s, like, super knowledgeable about what’s going on there.” 
TWO IMAGES:

What’s more tragic? How hard Marnie just got friend-zoned or the fact that she wore that beanie in multiple scenes during this episode?

Despite Hannah’s attempt to get “so clean” for Adam, she still battles a paperback for his attention 
ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER— DRIFTING APART
JP: We’ve all been there. You know, in that relationship where one person is obviously over it and the other person, well, isn’t. The beginning of the end, if you will. We’ve all said and done silly things in our attempts to keep the romance alive. We’ve all thrown on a blonde wig and told our lover to meet us at a bar while we role play as a hedge-funders bored wife. No? Me either. But, when one person begins to drift from the other, it’s the fight or flight actions that determine whether the relationship can survive it’s drama. Sadly, last night’s episode of Girls may have been the final nail in the coffin for Adam and Hannah’s relationship, which has seen it’s fair share of ups and downs. The episode opened with Hannah getting unnecessarily wasted with her coworkers, thus setting the self-destructive tone for the rest of the episode. Hannah herself says that she’s never gotten drunk like that, like, ever. So why did she feel the need to do so? Probably because she’s begun to feel distant from Adam since he has been so focused on his new role in Major Barbara. Adam barely noticed, let alone cared, that Hannah got hammered and needed to crash at her male coworkers place. Instead he asked her how to style his jacket for the play, “collar up or down?”
Throughout Girls, we’ve seen Adam evolve as a character, from an emotionally disturbed recovering alcoholic to a budding new Broadway actor— so, it comes as no surprise that his transformation would be hard for Hannah to cope with, especially after Patti LuPone planted the seed that his new-found stardom would turn him into an asshole. But was Adam turning into an asshole or was Hannah just fixated on that concept? Hannah’s attempt at role-play wasn’t as disturbing as some of the series’ early Adam/Hannah sex scenes but it nonetheless highlighted the emotional disconnect that’s formed in their relationship. Hannah only threw on a wig and acted like a desperate housewife because she thought it was something that Adam would be into and Adam was genuinely perturbed that she would think such a thing. He explains to her that, “You have an old idea of who I am.” Maybe he’s right. Although he had been into demeaning sex in the past, he explains that he was just a messed up guy coping with his alcoholism. He’s different and happy now and tells her that “It feels amazing to finally care about something.” Essentially admitting that his job matters more to him than she does, he explains that he will be staying with Ray during rehearsals so that he can focus instead of dealing with the drama. “What drama?” Hannah asks, adding, “This is just me.” To which Adam replies, “Exactly.” If Adam can’t handle Hannah now, it’s pretty obvious that he won’t be able to deal with her once he establishes himself as a Broadway actor. Although they didn’t officially breakup, I don’t exactly see Adam and Hannah recovering from this new dynamic.
OP: Relationships require time, energy and patience to hold onto, no matter how solid the footing they launch from. Now consider the fact that Adam and Hannah’s relationship is built upon Adam running shirtless through Brooklyn to save Hannah from an OCD down-spiral, and they then proceeded to move in with each other soon thereafter. Once we put these facts in a row, the results of last night’s episode should not be incredibly surprising— Adam and Hannah have always relied on a level of insanity and instability that drives their relationships, and for better or for worse kept the relationship interesting for them. Though the writers of the episode definitely left it ambiguous as to whether or not they were truly breaking up, or if Adam was just going to live at his old apartment with Ray for a bit, the one thing we know for sure is that Adam and Hannah are on rocky terms right now. I mean, they were always rocky, but now they’re rocky because they weren’t rocky. They’ve become like every other couple that has to balance their love-life with their work-life, whose sex life is waning and common points of interest are harder to come by. In their quest for a more stable life with one another, Hannah and Adam have somehow lost sight of each other, which sadly, is all too common in relationships.
Hannah’s blonde wig was very much the center of a lot of the conversation that stemmed from this episode, though I found myself wondering if it really was just a game to her, or if this wig represented a deeply rooted insecurity of who she has become in this relationship. Hannah developing this new persona was a drastic attempt to insert herself into the world of theater that Adam is so clearly engrossed in. Because she was turned away from trying to see the rehearsal for the play, Hannah seeks out other ways to remain relevant to Adam, as if she could transfer some of his love and passion for the play onto her. I wavered in and out of thinking that Hannah’s role-play was an act of desperation, or at the very least an attempt to remain relevant. What Hannah may not have realized is that Adam has done a lot of growing over the course of the 30 episodes we’ve gotten to see him in, and what used to excite him about Hannah is not what excites him about her now. As she seeks out clarification on why Adam wants time apart, she asks, “What drama? This is just me.” Adam’s declaration of “Exactly!” does more to show us that though he might have evolved over time, Hannah might not have been growing in the same direction or at the same rate. Part of drifting apart in a relationship is about an inability to accept others for who they are, and more importantly, who they might never become. For these two, we have just two episodes left to see if they resolve some of these lulls in the relationship before the season finale.
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Role-Play” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 10 Recap

THREE QUOTES:

1) Adam noting the wedges coming between him and Hannah:

"I’m not here to fill up your life with f*ckin’ stories for your f*ckin Twitter." - Adam

2) After Soojin asks Marnie if she’d like to be her assistant, since her best homo-friend is already the Director of the Gallery:

Marnie: “How old are you?”

Soojin: “Two-four GURL. But for the cred and intrigue of the gallery, I’m going to tell people I’m 22.”  

3) Shoshana attempting to reconcile Jasper and Dottie’s relationship:

“She’s dating an Egyptian, so she’s, like, super knowledgeable about what’s going on there.”

TWO IMAGES:

What’s more tragic? How hard Marnie just got friend-zoned or the fact that she wore that beanie in multiple scenes during this episode?

Despite Hannah’s attempt to get “so clean” for Adam, she still battles a paperback for his attention

ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER— DRIFTING APART

JP: We’ve all been there. You know, in that relationship where one person is obviously over it and the other person, well, isn’t. The beginning of the end, if you will. We’ve all said and done silly things in our attempts to keep the romance alive. We’ve all thrown on a blonde wig and told our lover to meet us at a bar while we role play as a hedge-funders bored wife. No? Me either. But, when one person begins to drift from the other, it’s the fight or flight actions that determine whether the relationship can survive it’s drama. Sadly, last night’s episode of Girls may have been the final nail in the coffin for Adam and Hannah’s relationship, which has seen it’s fair share of ups and downs. The episode opened with Hannah getting unnecessarily wasted with her coworkers, thus setting the self-destructive tone for the rest of the episode. Hannah herself says that she’s never gotten drunk like that, like, ever. So why did she feel the need to do so? Probably because she’s begun to feel distant from Adam since he has been so focused on his new role in Major Barbara. Adam barely noticed, let alone cared, that Hannah got hammered and needed to crash at her male coworkers place. Instead he asked her how to style his jacket for the play, “collar up or down?”

Throughout Girls, we’ve seen Adam evolve as a character, from an emotionally disturbed recovering alcoholic to a budding new Broadway actor— so, it comes as no surprise that his transformation would be hard for Hannah to cope with, especially after Patti LuPone planted the seed that his new-found stardom would turn him into an asshole. But was Adam turning into an asshole or was Hannah just fixated on that concept? Hannah’s attempt at role-play wasn’t as disturbing as some of the series’ early Adam/Hannah sex scenes but it nonetheless highlighted the emotional disconnect that’s formed in their relationship. Hannah only threw on a wig and acted like a desperate housewife because she thought it was something that Adam would be into and Adam was genuinely perturbed that she would think such a thing. He explains to her that, “You have an old idea of who I am.” Maybe he’s right. Although he had been into demeaning sex in the past, he explains that he was just a messed up guy coping with his alcoholism. He’s different and happy now and tells her that “It feels amazing to finally care about something.” Essentially admitting that his job matters more to him than she does, he explains that he will be staying with Ray during rehearsals so that he can focus instead of dealing with the drama. “What drama?” Hannah asks, adding, “This is just me.” To which Adam replies, “Exactly.” If Adam can’t handle Hannah now, it’s pretty obvious that he won’t be able to deal with her once he establishes himself as a Broadway actor. Although they didn’t officially breakup, I don’t exactly see Adam and Hannah recovering from this new dynamic.

OP: Relationships require time, energy and patience to hold onto, no matter how solid the footing they launch from. Now consider the fact that Adam and Hannah’s relationship is built upon Adam running shirtless through Brooklyn to save Hannah from an OCD down-spiral, and they then proceeded to move in with each other soon thereafter. Once we put these facts in a row, the results of last night’s episode should not be incredibly surprising— Adam and Hannah have always relied on a level of insanity and instability that drives their relationships, and for better or for worse kept the relationship interesting for them. Though the writers of the episode definitely left it ambiguous as to whether or not they were truly breaking up, or if Adam was just going to live at his old apartment with Ray for a bit, the one thing we know for sure is that Adam and Hannah are on rocky terms right now. I mean, they were always rocky, but now they’re rocky because they weren’t rocky. They’ve become like every other couple that has to balance their love-life with their work-life, whose sex life is waning and common points of interest are harder to come by. In their quest for a more stable life with one another, Hannah and Adam have somehow lost sight of each other, which sadly, is all too common in relationships.

Hannah’s blonde wig was very much the center of a lot of the conversation that stemmed from this episode, though I found myself wondering if it really was just a game to her, or if this wig represented a deeply rooted insecurity of who she has become in this relationship. Hannah developing this new persona was a drastic attempt to insert herself into the world of theater that Adam is so clearly engrossed in. Because she was turned away from trying to see the rehearsal for the play, Hannah seeks out other ways to remain relevant to Adam, as if she could transfer some of his love and passion for the play onto her. I wavered in and out of thinking that Hannah’s role-play was an act of desperation, or at the very least an attempt to remain relevant. What Hannah may not have realized is that Adam has done a lot of growing over the course of the 30 episodes we’ve gotten to see him in, and what used to excite him about Hannah is not what excites him about her now. As she seeks out clarification on why Adam wants time apart, she asks, “What drama? This is just me.” Adam’s declaration of “Exactly!” does more to show us that though he might have evolved over time, Hannah might not have been growing in the same direction or at the same rate. Part of drifting apart in a relationship is about an inability to accept others for who they are, and more importantly, who they might never become. For these two, we have just two episodes left to see if they resolve some of these lulls in the relationship before the season finale.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Looking in the Mirror” - Looking Season 1 Episode 6 Recap
LOOKING BACK:
Welcome back to our sixth review of “Looking,” where we try to dig into the meat of HBO’s latest series about the lives of gay men in San Francisco. Last night’s episode gave us plenty to talk about, as the life that Patrick has developed with Richie is suddenly grating against his “real life,” with friends and family members who have plenty of opinions of his new beau, Richie. Dom’s 40th birthday sets the tone for the episode to anchor our characters in self-reflection, and his party at Dolores Park becomes the most uncomfortable clash of characters in the series so far, as even Kevin, his boyfriend Jon, and CJ made appearances to see Dom destroy a piñata in the shape of his own head. After Agustin questions Patrick’s motives for dating Richie, Richie overhears the conversation and essentially tells Agustin to fuck off [which he deserved to be told]. Though Patrick defends his new relationship, and walks away from the conflict, the closing scene suggests that Agustin’s words have caused some serious doubt for Patrick, as he stands naked in front of a mirror, shrouded in the world’s most carefully placed shadows. After such a dreamy fifth episode of the series, this shift in tone for episode six reminds us that at the core of it all, Richie and Patrick live in the same city, but they’re from completely different worlds.

LOOKING CLOSER: What happens when your BF and your BFF clash?
At the episode’s climax, Richie confronts Agustin for bad-mouthing him to Patrick, and solidifies for the audience that these two men are pulling Agustin in two different directions. Agustin has clearly known Patrick for much longer, which brings its own set of baggage, but Richie potentially has a different understanding of who Patrick is, and more importantly, who he is becoming. This clash between best friends and significant others is a topic we’d like to talk through this week.
OP:  Alright, it pains me to admit it. I’ve been the “Agustin” far too often—I have been an asshole to my friends’ boyfriends in the past, and I’m definitely not proud of it. I grew up as an idealist when it came to friendship, with such philosophers as Sporty Spice dictating that “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,” though relationships in my adult life have not shockingly painted a more complicated picture. When I boil it down, I’m incredibly defensive of my friends, and that doesn’t manifest itself in the prettiest of ways. While I always try my best to keep an open mind about who my friends choose as partners, I’ve found myself being closed off, judgmental, and downright cold to the people my friends introduce me to. Seriously— I once debated at what point a rotting vegetable is too old to eat simply because I felt threatened and didn’t want to be wrong. Just complete nonsense. So what’s at the core of it? Why am I such an ice-queen to my friends new suitors? As a friend, I think that I make the false assumption that I’d have to get along with all of my friend’s partners, as if my stamp of approval is critical in getting their relationship off the ground— but really, it’s not.
The tension between Agustin and Richie runs deeper than what was said at Dolores Park, though suggesting that Patrick is “slumming it” by dating Richie is definitely offensive in its own right. As I’ve noted before, Agustin’s perceptions of Richie are colored 100% by what Patrick has told him, so as much as we’d like to cast Agustin off as bigoted and insensitive, we have to understand that this just as much Patrick’s issue with Richie. As the old friend, Patrick likely shares more with Agustin than he does with anyone else and that makes me think that his comment about “proving something to us— or to yourself” is layered with truths that we aren’t understanding as an audience. Our friends know us the best, and I would hope that my friends could call me out if I’m being someone that I’m not just for the sake of a relationship— so why was I so upset for Agustin in this scene? For one, the comment about not knowing “a single Cuban who would wear something like that” did reflect an interethnic and inter-class conflict amongst Latinos that is rarely showcased on television, and rather than questioning, Agustin was dismissing Richie’s culture. It’s one thing to note differences in culture, its another thing altogether to assign them value as better or worse. While I understand that as a best friend, Agustin was being protective of Richie, a birthday party on the grassy hill is not the place to bring it up, nor is it fair to Patrick/Richie’s relationship to cast judgment so quickly, without first questioning and seeking to understand better.
JP: You’ve probably known your best friend for a long time. They know the people you’ve dated, the people you’ve wanted to date, and all of the random experiences you’ve had in between. They listen to you rehash the same stories over and over again about the person you met at a bar (or on Tinder), what he/she does for a living and what they look like. Your BFF helps to deconstruct the flirty text messages you get and helps concoct proper texts back. They are reliable, trustworthy, and loyal. They know what you want and what’s best for you and aren’t afraid to tell you. Undoubtedly, your BFF has your best interests at heart so it comes as no surprise that you hold their opinions about the person you date in high regard. So what happens when your BFF doesn’t like your new beau? It’s standard for them to get a little jelly when you enter into a new relationship (three’s a crowd), but what do you do if they genuinely think the person you are dating is wrong for you? Worse, what do you do if your new beau doesn’t like your BFF either? Obviously you don’t want to have to choose between the two.
This week’s episode of Looking explores this concept as Richie and Patrick make their relationship official and Patrick introduces his new BF to all of his closest friends at Dom’s birthday party. Despite having relationship issues of his own, Agustin shits all over Patrick’s budding new romance with Richie. He believes that Patrick is leading Richie on to think that they have a future together, when they clearly dont. Although Patrick doesn’t deny his claim, he instead retorts that Agustin’s  “meaningful relationship” with JC isn’t any better. Richie walks up just as Agustin considers Patrick “slumming” it with him.  Obviously, Agustin regretted saying what he did but nonetheless, the damage was done— the class disparity between Patrick and Richie became more apparent than ever and Richie realized just how embedded those societal standards were in Patrick’s life. As Patrick doesn’t have a strong sense of self and clearly cares about what his friends and family think about him, I wouldn’t be surprised if his exchange with Agustin was the kiss of death for his new relationship. 

LOOKING AHEAD:
Last night, we found out that there are only two episodes of the first Season of “Looking” left, which knocked the wind out of us because we were bracing ourselves for the long-haul of 10 episodes. We’re embracing the silver-lining of the news, however, and are excited for a GIRLS/ Looking Tandem Finale Party on March 9th. The preview for next episode leaves us a bit uneasy, as we see that Patrick has some expected nerves about bringing Richie to his sister’s wedding, and yet, it’ll be Kevin accompanying him to the wedding. We’re hoping that we’re just falling victim to some smart editing, because there is so much cross-cultural exchanges that could occur if Richie met Patrick’s, and goddamnit, we’re still rooting for Patchie to make it through it all [yeah, we just coined that term, so what?] Also, are we wrong to hope for an apology from Agustin to just about everyone that he offended? Regardless, we’re excited for the next two episodes and praying to the HBO gods that “Looking” gets renewed for Season 2. 
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Looking in the Mirror” - Looking Season 1 Episode 6 Recap

LOOKING BACK:

Welcome back to our sixth review of “Looking,” where we try to dig into the meat of HBO’s latest series about the lives of gay men in San Francisco. Last night’s episode gave us plenty to talk about, as the life that Patrick has developed with Richie is suddenly grating against his “real life,” with friends and family members who have plenty of opinions of his new beau, Richie. Dom’s 40th birthday sets the tone for the episode to anchor our characters in self-reflection, and his party at Dolores Park becomes the most uncomfortable clash of characters in the series so far, as even Kevin, his boyfriend Jon, and CJ made appearances to see Dom destroy a piñata in the shape of his own head. After Agustin questions Patrick’s motives for dating Richie, Richie overhears the conversation and essentially tells Agustin to fuck off [which he deserved to be told]. Though Patrick defends his new relationship, and walks away from the conflict, the closing scene suggests that Agustin’s words have caused some serious doubt for Patrick, as he stands naked in front of a mirror, shrouded in the world’s most carefully placed shadows. After such a dreamy fifth episode of the series, this shift in tone for episode six reminds us that at the core of it all, Richie and Patrick live in the same city, but they’re from completely different worlds.

LOOKING CLOSER: What happens when your BF and your BFF clash?

At the episode’s climax, Richie confronts Agustin for bad-mouthing him to Patrick, and solidifies for the audience that these two men are pulling Agustin in two different directions. Agustin has clearly known Patrick for much longer, which brings its own set of baggage, but Richie potentially has a different understanding of who Patrick is, and more importantly, who he is becoming. This clash between best friends and significant others is a topic we’d like to talk through this week.

OP:  Alright, it pains me to admit it. I’ve been the “Agustin” far too often—I have been an asshole to my friends’ boyfriends in the past, and I’m definitely not proud of it. I grew up as an idealist when it came to friendship, with such philosophers as Sporty Spice dictating that “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,” though relationships in my adult life have not shockingly painted a more complicated picture. When I boil it down, I’m incredibly defensive of my friends, and that doesn’t manifest itself in the prettiest of ways. While I always try my best to keep an open mind about who my friends choose as partners, I’ve found myself being closed off, judgmental, and downright cold to the people my friends introduce me to. Seriously— I once debated at what point a rotting vegetable is too old to eat simply because I felt threatened and didn’t want to be wrong. Just complete nonsense. So what’s at the core of it? Why am I such an ice-queen to my friends new suitors? As a friend, I think that I make the false assumption that I’d have to get along with all of my friend’s partners, as if my stamp of approval is critical in getting their relationship off the ground— but really, it’s not.

The tension between Agustin and Richie runs deeper than what was said at Dolores Park, though suggesting that Patrick is “slumming it” by dating Richie is definitely offensive in its own right. As I’ve noted before, Agustin’s perceptions of Richie are colored 100% by what Patrick has told him, so as much as we’d like to cast Agustin off as bigoted and insensitive, we have to understand that this just as much Patrick’s issue with Richie. As the old friend, Patrick likely shares more with Agustin than he does with anyone else and that makes me think that his comment about “proving something to us— or to yourself” is layered with truths that we aren’t understanding as an audience. Our friends know us the best, and I would hope that my friends could call me out if I’m being someone that I’m not just for the sake of a relationship— so why was I so upset for Agustin in this scene? For one, the comment about not knowing “a single Cuban who would wear something like that” did reflect an interethnic and inter-class conflict amongst Latinos that is rarely showcased on television, and rather than questioning, Agustin was dismissing Richie’s culture. It’s one thing to note differences in culture, its another thing altogether to assign them value as better or worse. While I understand that as a best friend, Agustin was being protective of Richie, a birthday party on the grassy hill is not the place to bring it up, nor is it fair to Patrick/Richie’s relationship to cast judgment so quickly, without first questioning and seeking to understand better.

JP: You’ve probably known your best friend for a long time. They know the people you’ve dated, the people you’ve wanted to date, and all of the random experiences you’ve had in between. They listen to you rehash the same stories over and over again about the person you met at a bar (or on Tinder), what he/she does for a living and what they look like. Your BFF helps to deconstruct the flirty text messages you get and helps concoct proper texts back. They are reliable, trustworthy, and loyal. They know what you want and what’s best for you and aren’t afraid to tell you. Undoubtedly, your BFF has your best interests at heart so it comes as no surprise that you hold their opinions about the person you date in high regard. So what happens when your BFF doesn’t like your new beau? It’s standard for them to get a little jelly when you enter into a new relationship (three’s a crowd), but what do you do if they genuinely think the person you are dating is wrong for you? Worse, what do you do if your new beau doesn’t like your BFF either? Obviously you don’t want to have to choose between the two.

This week’s episode of Looking explores this concept as Richie and Patrick make their relationship official and Patrick introduces his new BF to all of his closest friends at Dom’s birthday party. Despite having relationship issues of his own, Agustin shits all over Patrick’s budding new romance with Richie. He believes that Patrick is leading Richie on to think that they have a future together, when they clearly dont. Although Patrick doesn’t deny his claim, he instead retorts that Agustin’s  “meaningful relationship” with JC isn’t any better. Richie walks up just as Agustin considers Patrick “slumming” it with him.  Obviously, Agustin regretted saying what he did but nonetheless, the damage was done— the class disparity between Patrick and Richie became more apparent than ever and Richie realized just how embedded those societal standards were in Patrick’s life. As Patrick doesn’t have a strong sense of self and clearly cares about what his friends and family think about him, I wouldn’t be surprised if his exchange with Agustin was the kiss of death for his new relationship.

LOOKING AHEAD:

Last night, we found out that there are only two episodes of the first Season of “Looking” left, which knocked the wind out of us because we were bracing ourselves for the long-haul of 10 episodes. We’re embracing the silver-lining of the news, however, and are excited for a GIRLS/ Looking Tandem Finale Party on March 9th. The preview for next episode leaves us a bit uneasy, as we see that Patrick has some expected nerves about bringing Richie to his sister’s wedding, and yet, it’ll be Kevin accompanying him to the wedding. We’re hoping that we’re just falling victim to some smart editing, because there is so much cross-cultural exchanges that could occur if Richie met Patrick’s, and goddamnit, we’re still rooting for Patchie to make it through it all [yeah, we just coined that term, so what?] Also, are we wrong to hope for an apology from Agustin to just about everyone that he offended? Regardless, we’re excited for the next two episodes and praying to the HBO gods that “Looking” gets renewed for Season 2.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Incidentals” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 8 Recap
THREE QUOTES
1. Elijah advising Adam on life in the Broadway scene:

2. Shoshanna on her life as she knows it:
"Literally, I swear to God, sometimes I think that I’m in The Truman Show, but it’s really just like a walking American Apparel ad, and I don’t even know it.”
3. Jessa seeking solace and company in the UPS delivery man:
“Please don’t go, Rocko. I wanna hear about your weekend. What did you have for dinner? Who is your ex-wife? ROCKO, I’M SO BORED! You bastard!”
TWO IMAGES: 

Marnie attempts to show empathy, but Soojin is not here for this. #bye

At the risk of seeming like a crazy-person, Adam muffles his screams with tissue after learning he landed a part in a play. And this is why we love Adam.
ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER: Learning to be happy for the success of others.
JP: This week’s post is written to the tune of Morrissey’s We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful. As we saw in the last episode of GIRLS, Morrissey had it dead on. Envy may be the least attractive emotion but we all feel it. When someone close to you gets something you want, whether that be an amazing new job or relationship, there is a certain amount of jealousy that you probably feel. We can’t help but think “Why not me?” It’s not that we aren’t happy for our friends and loved ones but rather, their accomplishments tend to highlight the shortcomings and insecurities that we feel exist in our own life. Let’s take Shosh as an example. Yes, she initially dumped Ray because he was a homeless dude who didn’t offer much to write home about but, after a normal bout of ex-stalking, she found out that Time Out New York called his coffee shop a “fresh departure from the average coffee house grind.” His new-found success led her to want to unchoose her choice of breaking up with him as she felt that her own life was in shambles. Think about how many of your friends Facebook stalk the freak out of their ex’s. Do they miss their ex when they find out that he/she lost their job or got fat? Probably not. Do they seem to remember all of their ex’s good qualities when said ex is in a new relationship or doing well professionally? Probably so - case & point with Shosh.
In this week’s episode of GIRLS, Adam lands a part in “Major Barbara,” and upon finding out, he calls Hannah to share the news. Even though she was in the middle of interviewing Patty LuPone, Hannah takes the call and is clearly very happy for him. She tells Patty, who comments that Adam’s new gig will likely turn him into an asshole and lead him to cheat on her. Hannah explains that she isn’t worried because Adam is funny looking, but Patty reminds her that even the elephant man got laid a lot. Despite the fact that in the not so distant past, Adam creepily proclaimed his love for Hannah over several love songs and stalked her to the point where she feared him, his new gig (and Patty’s comments about it) left Hannah feeling like the self conscious one in their relationship. Nevertheless, she hosts a celebratory small surprise gathering for him. While helping to plan the shindig, Elijah says “I never thought he’d be the first to fulfill his dream.” Elijah may have been a little bit bitter, but his comment accurately reflects how most of us would feel if a close friend lands his/her dream job while we have not. A healthy amount of envy can serve as the motivation needed to start making moves in our own lives. Hannah was wise enough this time around to realize that Patty f**ked with her head and that she should be (and is) happy for Adam. When our friends and lovers are hitting their own milestones, we can and should find inspiration in their accolades to accomplish our own goals and aspirations rather than basking in self doubt and insecurity.
OP: At the risk of over-generalizing an entire generation [who cares, it’s my blog, I’ll do whatever I want], I believe millennials are accustomed to comparing their life, their successes and their pitfalls because of the rising prevalence of social media. This, of course, is also taking into account that humans, by nature are comparing creatures and the concept of “keeping up with Joneses” is by no means new, but it’s more so how and how often we receive this information. Rather than having to wait until a dinner party to find out what your friends have been up to lately, we sign up for services that will essentially tells us how awesome the lives of all of our friends are. But with this comes a built-in cynicism of “How is this bitch always going on vacation and I’m just sitting here on Netflix?” and the subsequent pondering of why you’re not doing anything with your life, why the dude who lived in your dorm in college has already started a company and written a book and you’re eeking out the last bits of your soul to write your blog after your 9-5 is all wrapped up. GIRLS is no stranger to exploring this concept, as we once saw Marnie click through a Facebook album of Charlie on a vacation to Italy with his new girlfriend, though last night, we saw Marnie face this harsh comparative reality once again, as she gets tapped on the shoulder in a fro-yo shop, and Soojin poetically re-enters our lives by declaring, “Hey bitch, you’re taking all the mochi.”  Seeing old faces at unexpected times is definitely jarring, but what is more jarring is that I have Soojin moments on a nearly daily basis, where people I barely know have somehow managed to find their way into the daily catalog of my psyche, where a change in job titles on Facebook equally screams out to me, “Hey Bitch!” 
Marnie, having initially perceived Soojin as a ditzy assistant who got fired for taking a scoop of rosewater ice-cream from Booth, suddenly realizes that this girl is living out her dreams by launching her own gallery in NoHo.The scene perfectly captures a sort of envious congratulations that we bestow upon colleagues and friends, with Marnie’s expression wavering between shock and disgust, asking “Are you serious?” with enough up-speak to denote that she cannot actually fathom this as a possibility before poking holes into the optimistic narrative Soojin has created by reminding her how much hard work goes into opening a gallery, and how she always sees galleries opening and closing.THANKS A LOT, MARNIE! These people are not friends, they hardly know each other, so why does Soojin’s success and ability to say “Fuck it, DGAF” jilt her so much? It’s because in Soojin, Marnie sees her failed potential to capitalize on her own dreams, it highlights that while she still serving coffee at Ray’s, other people have managed to make themselves their own boss. The hug at the end of this scene captures the half-congratulatory excitement we give to anyone with major life updates our age. Yes, Marnie is happy for Soojin, but we do have to question the level of authenticity that is coming in that embrace, if she can ever truly be happy for other people’s successes without pointing a microscope on her  own doubts and shortcomings.
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Incidentals” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 8 Recap

THREE QUOTES

1. Elijah advising Adam on life in the Broadway scene:

2. Shoshanna on her life as she knows it:

"Literally, I swear to God, sometimes I think that I’m in The Truman Show, but it’s really just like a walking American Apparel ad, and I don’t even know it.”

3. Jessa seeking solace and company in the UPS delivery man:

“Please don’t go, Rocko. I wanna hear about your weekend. What did you have for dinner? Who is your ex-wife? ROCKO, I’M SO BORED! You bastard!”

TWO IMAGES:

Marnie attempts to show empathy, but Soojin is not here for this. #bye

At the risk of seeming like a crazy-person, Adam muffles his screams with tissue after learning he landed a part in a play. And this is why we love Adam.

ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER: Learning to be happy for the success of others.

JP: This week’s post is written to the tune of Morrissey’s We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful. As we saw in the last episode of GIRLS, Morrissey had it dead on. Envy may be the least attractive emotion but we all feel it. When someone close to you gets something you want, whether that be an amazing new job or relationship, there is a certain amount of jealousy that you probably feel. We can’t help but think “Why not me?” It’s not that we aren’t happy for our friends and loved ones but rather, their accomplishments tend to highlight the shortcomings and insecurities that we feel exist in our own life. Let’s take Shosh as an example. Yes, she initially dumped Ray because he was a homeless dude who didn’t offer much to write home about but, after a normal bout of ex-stalking, she found out that Time Out New York called his coffee shop a “fresh departure from the average coffee house grind.” His new-found success led her to want to unchoose her choice of breaking up with him as she felt that her own life was in shambles. Think about how many of your friends Facebook stalk the freak out of their ex’s. Do they miss their ex when they find out that he/she lost their job or got fat? Probably not. Do they seem to remember all of their ex’s good qualities when said ex is in a new relationship or doing well professionally? Probably so - case & point with Shosh.

In this week’s episode of GIRLS, Adam lands a part in “Major Barbara,” and upon finding out, he calls Hannah to share the news. Even though she was in the middle of interviewing Patty LuPone, Hannah takes the call and is clearly very happy for him. She tells Patty, who comments that Adam’s new gig will likely turn him into an asshole and lead him to cheat on her. Hannah explains that she isn’t worried because Adam is funny looking, but Patty reminds her that even the elephant man got laid a lot. Despite the fact that in the not so distant past, Adam creepily proclaimed his love for Hannah over several love songs and stalked her to the point where she feared him, his new gig (and Patty’s comments about it) left Hannah feeling like the self conscious one in their relationship. Nevertheless, she hosts a celebratory small surprise gathering for him. While helping to plan the shindig, Elijah says “I never thought he’d be the first to fulfill his dream.” Elijah may have been a little bit bitter, but his comment accurately reflects how most of us would feel if a close friend lands his/her dream job while we have not. A healthy amount of envy can serve as the motivation needed to start making moves in our own lives. Hannah was wise enough this time around to realize that Patty f**ked with her head and that she should be (and is) happy for Adam. When our friends and lovers are hitting their own milestones, we can and should find inspiration in their accolades to accomplish our own goals and aspirations rather than basking in self doubt and insecurity.

OP: At the risk of over-generalizing an entire generation [who cares, it’s my blog, I’ll do whatever I want], I believe millennials are accustomed to comparing their life, their successes and their pitfalls because of the rising prevalence of social media. This, of course, is also taking into account that humans, by nature are comparing creatures and the concept of “keeping up with Joneses” is by no means new, but it’s more so how and how often we receive this information. Rather than having to wait until a dinner party to find out what your friends have been up to lately, we sign up for services that will essentially tells us how awesome the lives of all of our friends are. But with this comes a built-in cynicism of “How is this bitch always going on vacation and I’m just sitting here on Netflix?” and the subsequent pondering of why you’re not doing anything with your life, why the dude who lived in your dorm in college has already started a company and written a book and you’re eeking out the last bits of your soul to write your blog after your 9-5 is all wrapped up. GIRLS is no stranger to exploring this concept, as we once saw Marnie click through a Facebook album of Charlie on a vacation to Italy with his new girlfriend, though last night, we saw Marnie face this harsh comparative reality once again, as she gets tapped on the shoulder in a fro-yo shop, and Soojin poetically re-enters our lives by declaring, “Hey bitch, you’re taking all the mochi.”  Seeing old faces at unexpected times is definitely jarring, but what is more jarring is that I have Soojin moments on a nearly daily basis, where people I barely know have somehow managed to find their way into the daily catalog of my psyche, where a change in job titles on Facebook equally screams out to me, “Hey Bitch!”

Marnie, having initially perceived Soojin as a ditzy assistant who got fired for taking a scoop of rosewater ice-cream from Booth, suddenly realizes that this girl is living out her dreams by launching her own gallery in NoHo.The scene perfectly captures a sort of envious congratulations that we bestow upon colleagues and friends, with Marnie’s expression wavering between shock and disgust, asking “Are you serious?” with enough up-speak to denote that she cannot actually fathom this as a possibility before poking holes into the optimistic narrative Soojin has created by reminding her how much hard work goes into opening a gallery, and how she always sees galleries opening and closing.THANKS A LOT, MARNIE! These people are not friends, they hardly know each other, so why does Soojin’s success and ability to say “Fuck it, DGAF” jilt her so much? It’s because in Soojin, Marnie sees her failed potential to capitalize on her own dreams, it highlights that while she still serving coffee at Ray’s, other people have managed to make themselves their own boss. The hug at the end of this scene captures the half-congratulatory excitement we give to anyone with major life updates our age. Yes, Marnie is happy for Soojin, but we do have to question the level of authenticity that is coming in that embrace, if she can ever truly be happy for other people’s successes without pointing a microscope on her  own doubts and shortcomings.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

Looking Episode 5 - “Looking for the Future”
LOOKING BACK
Welcome back to our fifth episode review for HBO’s “Looking,” where we’ll examine the fine print on the midway point of the first season of the series.  After five episodes, we’ve had plenty to talk about, but “Looking to the Future” recreated some of the brilliant pacing and intimate verbal exchanges we saw in “Weekend,” but with characters that we’ll have a longer time to get to know and richer backstories to illuminate some of what we’re seeing. This episode sees Richie and Patrick spending the day together in what seems like the world’s most Instragram-ready first date,  all the while exploring their boundaries, as is framed from scene one where Patrick tip-toes around Richie’s bedroom so as not to disturb him before he hops into his shower and examines the content of his medicine cabinets. We were very impressed to see discussion of faith and spirituality in this episode, as it highlighted these characters’ different world-views when Patrick discovers Richie’s good-luck pendants and the fact that Richie seeks counsel from a Señora. More interesting to note is the absence of all of other characters we’ve gotten accustomed to hearing from every Sunday night, which only further reinforces the fact that Richie and Patrick are in their own world in this episode. But this episode is not all fluff and non-sense—we’re watching these two men challenge each other’s perspectives, share about their hurt and anxieties as gay men, and sincerely develop an understanding of one another.

LOOKING CLOSER
Today, we thought we’d do things a bit different and consider our multiple perspectives as a gay man and a straight woman watching this show, and how that shapes our understanding of Richie and Patrick’s budding romance. We want to examine where there are universal struggles that we connect to as an audience, and where our understandings are just fundamentally different.
Gender Dynamics of Relationships: 
OP: I’m trying to think back through where I first learned what relationships should look like, and no matter what I point to—media, my parents, peers at school— these relationships were always heterosexual. But being a man dating a man is fundamentally different, which the writers of “Looking” don’t shy away from. As Patrick and Richie attempt to frame their own dynamic by comparing it to Ross & Rachel, there is a level of questioning about who the man is in the relationship, as if those are roles that need to be established. While I personally believe that these gender dynamics are bullshit that should actively be resisted, they are inevitably still omnipresent in our society and shape how LGBT people understand their own relationships. I’m hoping that Richie will help Patrick get over some of his own stigmas about bottom-shame or the perception that parents will view him as effeminate, 
JP: As a little girl who grew up playing with Barbies, my understanding of values and behaviors of genders in relationships was established early on. I grew up perceiving the man as the provider and the female as the nurturer. There are ingrained societal expectations that men be chivalrous and the aggressors and do such things as open the door and foot bill whereas females are expected to be more sensitive and supportive. When they first met on the Muni, Richie was the one who approached Patrick and after their first real date, Richie was the one who paid the bill— these actions on his behalf have initially led me to perceive him as the “man” in the relationship. Richie may have been the aggressor early on but he is also a cosmetologist and their dynamics aren’t likely to perfectly mirror the masculine and feminine stereotypes that exist among heterosexual relationships.
Family/ Marriage:
OP: Though gay marriage is becoming increasingly common in the world, with 17 states in America that legally allow it now, it’s hard for LGBT people to still feel tension with the institutions of marriage and traditional families, because we grew up in a world where it wasn’t allowed and where our rights were being debated all of the time. When asked if he believed his mother would like him to be married, Patrick said,  “She likes everything to be normal. and even if I were getting married to a guy, it would still make me just like everyone else.” For me, this resonated very deeply, since for a large portion of my life, I wanted nothing else but to be normal, but I’m just now growing into a jaded perspective that marriage as an institution is broken, and that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself to want to be married. As Patrick noted, this is an evolving discussion for the LGBT community, as we still have to wait and see how much societal pressure will be put on gays and lesbians to be married now that it’s legal, but we have already seen an evolution in the fact that both Richie and Patrick see marriage as something they definitely aspire to. 
JP: We are only on the 5th episode of “Looking,” but it is very clear that Patrick is deeply concerned with his mothers perception of him and his sexuality. Although he has only been in one relationship, he admits to Richie that he never talks about relationships with his parents because he is concerned that they will only be envisioning him having sex with another guy. Richie tells him, “You know your parents meeting one of your boyfriends has nothing to do with your sex lives.” Regardless, Patrick thinks, “For parents, it is about sex.” Although I seek familial approval as well, my experiences are obviously much different than Patrick’s. I’ve never had to worry about my family perceiving my sexuality as normal and I’ve never worried about them meeting a significant other. Rather, I am faced with the societal pressure of getting married sooner rather than later— which, as a career driven female, is obviously not a current priority.

LOOKING AHEAD
It’ll be hard to top this episode’s warmth and sensuality, so we’re definitely anticipating seeing a few bumps in the road for our characters to drive the plot forward with real stakes. Since we took so much time to learn about Richie and Patrick’s family, we’d actually like to see them interact with their parents, to give us a more two-sided perspective on what caused these riffs and sources of tension. And OBVI we’re excited to see more from Agustin, Dom, Doris, Hugo and Kevin since we got no screen-time with them in the past episode to get their take on the recent developments in Patrick’s life. We’re particularly interested to see how Kevin reacts to news of Patrick’s new romance, and see how that affects office dynamics [we can very much imagine a world where some shade is being thrown]. We really want Richie and Patrick to work, REALLY. But we also want Dom and Agustin to get on track and start to develop some stability in work, love and life. Excuse us for having such a  rose-colored outlook for our characters, but we might just be feeling the afterglow of 30, uninterrupted minutes of the world’s most romantic first date.
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

Looking Episode 5 - “Looking for the Future”

LOOKING BACK

Welcome back to our fifth episode review for HBO’s “Looking,” where we’ll examine the fine print on the midway point of the first season of the series.  After five episodes, we’ve had plenty to talk about, but “Looking to the Future” recreated some of the brilliant pacing and intimate verbal exchanges we saw in “Weekend,” but with characters that we’ll have a longer time to get to know and richer backstories to illuminate some of what we’re seeing. This episode sees Richie and Patrick spending the day together in what seems like the world’s most Instragram-ready first date,  all the while exploring their boundaries, as is framed from scene one where Patrick tip-toes around Richie’s bedroom so as not to disturb him before he hops into his shower and examines the content of his medicine cabinets. We were very impressed to see discussion of faith and spirituality in this episode, as it highlighted these characters’ different world-views when Patrick discovers Richie’s good-luck pendants and the fact that Richie seeks counsel from a Señora. More interesting to note is the absence of all of other characters we’ve gotten accustomed to hearing from every Sunday night, which only further reinforces the fact that Richie and Patrick are in their own world in this episode. But this episode is not all fluff and non-sense—we’re watching these two men challenge each other’s perspectives, share about their hurt and anxieties as gay men, and sincerely develop an understanding of one another.

LOOKING CLOSER

Today, we thought we’d do things a bit different and consider our multiple perspectives as a gay man and a straight woman watching this show, and how that shapes our understanding of Richie and Patrick’s budding romance. We want to examine where there are universal struggles that we connect to as an audience, and where our understandings are just fundamentally different.

Gender Dynamics of Relationships:

OP: I’m trying to think back through where I first learned what relationships should look like, and no matter what I point to—media, my parents, peers at school— these relationships were always heterosexual. But being a man dating a man is fundamentally different, which the writers of “Looking” don’t shy away from. As Patrick and Richie attempt to frame their own dynamic by comparing it to Ross & Rachel, there is a level of questioning about who the man is in the relationship, as if those are roles that need to be established. While I personally believe that these gender dynamics are bullshit that should actively be resisted, they are inevitably still omnipresent in our society and shape how LGBT people understand their own relationships. I’m hoping that Richie will help Patrick get over some of his own stigmas about bottom-shame or the perception that parents will view him as effeminate,

JP: As a little girl who grew up playing with Barbies, my understanding of values and behaviors of genders in relationships was established early on. I grew up perceiving the man as the provider and the female as the nurturer. There are ingrained societal expectations that men be chivalrous and the aggressors and do such things as open the door and foot bill whereas females are expected to be more sensitive and supportive. When they first met on the Muni, Richie was the one who approached Patrick and after their first real date, Richie was the one who paid the bill— these actions on his behalf have initially led me to perceive him as the “man” in the relationship. Richie may have been the aggressor early on but he is also a cosmetologist and their dynamics aren’t likely to perfectly mirror the masculine and feminine stereotypes that exist among heterosexual relationships.

Family/ Marriage:

OP: Though gay marriage is becoming increasingly common in the world, with 17 states in America that legally allow it now, it’s hard for LGBT people to still feel tension with the institutions of marriage and traditional families, because we grew up in a world where it wasn’t allowed and where our rights were being debated all of the time. When asked if he believed his mother would like him to be married, Patrick said,  “She likes everything to be normal. and even if I were getting married to a guy, it would still make me just like everyone else.” For me, this resonated very deeply, since for a large portion of my life, I wanted nothing else but to be normal, but I’m just now growing into a jaded perspective that marriage as an institution is broken, and that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself to want to be married. As Patrick noted, this is an evolving discussion for the LGBT community, as we still have to wait and see how much societal pressure will be put on gays and lesbians to be married now that it’s legal, but we have already seen an evolution in the fact that both Richie and Patrick see marriage as something they definitely aspire to.

JP: We are only on the 5th episode of “Looking,” but it is very clear that Patrick is deeply concerned with his mothers perception of him and his sexuality. Although he has only been in one relationship, he admits to Richie that he never talks about relationships with his parents because he is concerned that they will only be envisioning him having sex with another guy. Richie tells him, “You know your parents meeting one of your boyfriends has nothing to do with your sex lives.” Regardless, Patrick thinks, “For parents, it is about sex.” Although I seek familial approval as well, my experiences are obviously much different than Patrick’s. I’ve never had to worry about my family perceiving my sexuality as normal and I’ve never worried about them meeting a significant other. Rather, I am faced with the societal pressure of getting married sooner rather than later— which, as a career driven female, is obviously not a current priority.

LOOKING AHEAD

It’ll be hard to top this episode’s warmth and sensuality, so we’re definitely anticipating seeing a few bumps in the road for our characters to drive the plot forward with real stakes. Since we took so much time to learn about Richie and Patrick’s family, we’d actually like to see them interact with their parents, to give us a more two-sided perspective on what caused these riffs and sources of tension. And OBVI we’re excited to see more from Agustin, Dom, Doris, Hugo and Kevin since we got no screen-time with them in the past episode to get their take on the recent developments in Patrick’s life. We’re particularly interested to see how Kevin reacts to news of Patrick’s new romance, and see how that affects office dynamics [we can very much imagine a world where some shade is being thrown]. We really want Richie and Patrick to work, REALLY. But we also want Dom and Agustin to get on track and start to develop some stability in work, love and life. Excuse us for having such a  rose-colored outlook for our characters, but we might just be feeling the afterglow of 30, uninterrupted minutes of the world’s most romantic first date.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

“Beach House” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 7 Recap
THREE QUOTES
1. Shosh calling out Hannah’s narcissism, bordering on DGAF territory:
"Seriously, I have never met anyone who thinks their life is so f**king fascinating. I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people."
2. Elijah and Hannah attempting to catch up and share notes on current pop culture: 
E: “Hannah, I’m sorry.”
H: “About the Spring Breakers comment? That didn’t offend me, I thought that movie was a beautiful blend of art and commerce.” 
3. Jessa sticking up for Shosh’s intellectualism: 
“Actually, she is. I’m going to stick up for Shosh on this one and say that I once saw her read the newspaper on her phone.” 
TWO IMAGES

“Beach House” : Queen Marnie overlooks her Hamptons-adjacent kingdom in preparation for a big weekend. Unfortunately, her friends were ready for more of a Spring Break weekend romp.

“The Morning After”: Marnie walks into the kitchen to discover that Hannah, Shoshana and Jessa were grateful for the effort she put into the weekend, even if they did not always express it.
ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER: What are friends for?
OP: What are friends for? Friends are the ones you share your greatest triumphs with, who will give you a fist-bump when you get into grad school, who will ask you how your date went, who will unconditionally like all of your instagram posts, even when they’re not interesting. But friends are also the ones we turn to in times of need, when you’re feeling dejected, worthless, stressed about navigating a job-market in a recession that shows you no mercy. Friends are for honesty, for clarity, for keeping it real even when you can’t keep it real with yourself. “Beach House” allowed us to really see beyond each girl, and see them as we haven’t had much opportunity to this season, as collective Girls, as a forest rather than trees. Hannah, Marnie, Shoshana and Jessa have all grown up since we met them in Season One, and part of that has meant that they have grown apart, changed, and as an audience, this is the first time where we are forced to assess if these friendships are still worth hanging onto anymore, if our concept of us, as friends in college, can last us through our mid-twenties. Seeing the opening sequence of Marnie cutting flowers, assigning bedrooms and preparing the beach house is a glimpse into this character completely in her element— setting the stage for what she feels will be a strong refresh for their friendship; but as much as she creates a sense of order in the house, she maybe does not consider that these finer details will be lost on people who won’t sweat the small stuff or might be conceptualizing this weekend in a fundamentally different way [we all saw how structure and order worked out for Jessa during her time at rehab]. While Marnie believes she has set up a castle of healing for these friends, the other three feel like they are in a prison of her controlling tendencies and desire to have life play out like a Crate and Barrel Catalog.
For as much as this show is set up with a premise of these women being friends, the episode was filled with passive-aggressive jabs and shit-talking that you can’t help but wonder if that’s still how Lena Dunham, Judd Apatow and Jesse Peretz are approaching the direction of these characters. The parallel of the four gay men in the episode, however, showed that Elijah and Co are just as judgmental, narcissistic, unkind, and insecure as any of our four central characters, so that perhaps this is not a condition of our Girls specifically, but of any group of people who have known each other long enough. Plus, the gays are a riot, so please let us have more of them. The culmination of the episode was a perfect unloading of what these characters have been thinking about each other for so long [as well as what we’ve been saying about them on reddit and the blog-o-sphere, lets be real], and putting every single issue out there in a psychologically violent and wounding way and nothing like Marnie had in mind for how the “healing over dinner” would go. I asked myself if this was the ultimate riff for our beloved characters, if they would finally realize that their friendship was taking more energy to maintain than it was worth anymore. But the morning-after scene was brilliant— each of the characters emerges from their bed, slightly hungover, slowly discovering the aftermath of last night, and absorbing the mess that the house was in, and more importantly, the mess that their relationship was in. As they reconvened in the kitchen the next morning, there was a quiet acknowledgement that despite the hurt they may have caused one another the night before, they were willing to work together to heal, to clean up the mess that they’ve allowed their friendship to get to. And as they waited for the bus at the end of the episode, re-enacting the choreography they just learned, there is hope for the Girls, as a unit, to learn to not only accept each other for what they used to be, but to allow their friendship to grow as much as they have grown. When it comes down to it, they prove that they could still have fun as a group even if they’re hungover, resentfully quiet, slumping and no one is stopping to take an Instagram.
—————————————————————————
JP: When someone asks me which character of GIRLS that I relate the most to, I hesitate to answer because they are all annoying in their own way. Hannah is a self-proclaimed narcissist and borderline sociopath, Marnie is a judgmental self-serving ice queen, Shoshana is a vapid squirrel of a person and Jessa is so damaged and non-committal that she is unable to take the time to work through her own bullshit. Nonetheless, we can all relate to some aspects of these girls whether or not we want to acknowledge it. Marnie is obnoxious, yes, but she accurately captures the priorities of her generation— no one wants to admit that they think or do the things that she says and does, but we do. We Instagram the hikes we go on and the lattes we drink; she just acknowledges her intentions out loud. We all calculate our online presence, to the point where it detracts from our presence IRL. Marnie, aside from the vanity, makes legitimate efforts in her friendships - whether that be planning a birthday party for Hannah (even if only for the Gram proof), or hosting a girls weekend to heal her friendships - she’s trying. I felt bad for her when her perfect weekender blew up in flames - she put a lot of attention and detail into planning it and her friends just shat all over it. Maybe it wasn’t their cup of tea, maybe they didn’t want to do face masks and have a healing session but they could have shown some gratitude or appreciation. Hannah, while maybe not as concerned with her social media presence or hosting perfectly planned evenings, is still narcissistic and egotistical. She has the uncanny ability to make any and every situation about herself. This is what ultimately what led to one of my favorite scenes on GIRLS thus far, the Shoshana fueled explosion of calling it like you see it TRUTH. She says “you guys never listen to me. You treat me like I’m a f**king cab driver. Seriously, you have entire conversations in front of me, like I’m invisible. And sometimes I wonder if my social anxiety is holding me back from meeting the people who are right for me, instead of a bunch of whiny nothings for friends.” She may have been a cruel drunk but she finally shared all of her thoughts and feelings about her friends and may have opened up the opportunity for them to actually heal, in the way that Marnie originally intended. What is the point of their friendship? Why are they still friends if they are so different from one another? Maybe they are growing apart, maybe they are staying in each others lives because they have too much social anxiety to branch out or maybe they just really needed to say what has been on their minds all along.
Friendship requires effort. It requires saying things that you know may hurt your friends feelings but is in their best interest to hear. Friends are the people you share your innermost secrets with knowing that they won’t judge you, they are the people who you go to for support and advice. The girls of GIRLS are exaggerated examples of the stereotypes that exist within most groups of friends but their experiences aren’t as extreme as most make them out to be. We all have that friend who only plans fun events to have cute pictures to post, the friend who makes every situation about themselves and won’t shut up about their own life, the friend who somehow manages to never take accountability for their actions and the friend who lives in their own bubble of naïveté. In the end, friendship means accepting one another despite the differences that exist amongst the group. 
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“Beach House” - GIRLS Season 3 Episode 7 Recap

THREE QUOTES

1. Shosh calling out Hannah’s narcissism, bordering on DGAF territory:

"Seriously, I have never met anyone who thinks their life is so f**king fascinating. I wanted to fall asleep in my own vomit all day listening to you talk about how you bruise more easily than other people."

2. Elijah and Hannah attempting to catch up and share notes on current pop culture:

E: “Hannah, I’m sorry.”

H: “About the Spring Breakers comment? That didn’t offend me, I thought that movie was a beautiful blend of art and commerce.”

3. Jessa sticking up for Shosh’s intellectualism:

“Actually, she is. I’m going to stick up for Shosh on this one and say that I once saw her read the newspaper on her phone.”

TWO IMAGES

“Beach House” : Queen Marnie overlooks her Hamptons-adjacent kingdom in preparation for a big weekend. Unfortunately, her friends were ready for more of a Spring Break weekend romp.

“The Morning After”: Marnie walks into the kitchen to discover that Hannah, Shoshana and Jessa were grateful for the effort she put into the weekend, even if they did not always express it.

ONE TOPIC TO EXPLORE FURTHER: What are friends for?

OP: What are friends for? Friends are the ones you share your greatest triumphs with, who will give you a fist-bump when you get into grad school, who will ask you how your date went, who will unconditionally like all of your instagram posts, even when they’re not interesting. But friends are also the ones we turn to in times of need, when you’re feeling dejected, worthless, stressed about navigating a job-market in a recession that shows you no mercy. Friends are for honesty, for clarity, for keeping it real even when you can’t keep it real with yourself. “Beach House” allowed us to really see beyond each girl, and see them as we haven’t had much opportunity to this season, as collective Girls, as a forest rather than trees. Hannah, Marnie, Shoshana and Jessa have all grown up since we met them in Season One, and part of that has meant that they have grown apart, changed, and as an audience, this is the first time where we are forced to assess if these friendships are still worth hanging onto anymore, if our concept of us, as friends in college, can last us through our mid-twenties. Seeing the opening sequence of Marnie cutting flowers, assigning bedrooms and preparing the beach house is a glimpse into this character completely in her element— setting the stage for what she feels will be a strong refresh for their friendship; but as much as she creates a sense of order in the house, she maybe does not consider that these finer details will be lost on people who won’t sweat the small stuff or might be conceptualizing this weekend in a fundamentally different way [we all saw how structure and order worked out for Jessa during her time at rehab]. While Marnie believes she has set up a castle of healing for these friends, the other three feel like they are in a prison of her controlling tendencies and desire to have life play out like a Crate and Barrel Catalog.

For as much as this show is set up with a premise of these women being friends, the episode was filled with passive-aggressive jabs and shit-talking that you can’t help but wonder if that’s still how Lena Dunham, Judd Apatow and Jesse Peretz are approaching the direction of these characters. The parallel of the four gay men in the episode, however, showed that Elijah and Co are just as judgmental, narcissistic, unkind, and insecure as any of our four central characters, so that perhaps this is not a condition of our Girls specifically, but of any group of people who have known each other long enough. Plus, the gays are a riot, so please let us have more of them. The culmination of the episode was a perfect unloading of what these characters have been thinking about each other for so long [as well as what we’ve been saying about them on reddit and the blog-o-sphere, lets be real], and putting every single issue out there in a psychologically violent and wounding way and nothing like Marnie had in mind for how the “healing over dinner” would go. I asked myself if this was the ultimate riff for our beloved characters, if they would finally realize that their friendship was taking more energy to maintain than it was worth anymore. But the morning-after scene was brilliant— each of the characters emerges from their bed, slightly hungover, slowly discovering the aftermath of last night, and absorbing the mess that the house was in, and more importantly, the mess that their relationship was in. As they reconvened in the kitchen the next morning, there was a quiet acknowledgement that despite the hurt they may have caused one another the night before, they were willing to work together to heal, to clean up the mess that they’ve allowed their friendship to get to. And as they waited for the bus at the end of the episode, re-enacting the choreography they just learned, there is hope for the Girls, as a unit, to learn to not only accept each other for what they used to be, but to allow their friendship to grow as much as they have grown. When it comes down to it, they prove that they could still have fun as a group even if they’re hungover, resentfully quiet, slumping and no one is stopping to take an Instagram.

—————————————————————————

JP: When someone asks me which character of GIRLS that I relate the most to, I hesitate to answer because they are all annoying in their own way. Hannah is a self-proclaimed narcissist and borderline sociopath, Marnie is a judgmental self-serving ice queen, Shoshana is a vapid squirrel of a person and Jessa is so damaged and non-committal that she is unable to take the time to work through her own bullshit. Nonetheless, we can all relate to some aspects of these girls whether or not we want to acknowledge it. Marnie is obnoxious, yes, but she accurately captures the priorities of her generation— no one wants to admit that they think or do the things that she says and does, but we do. We Instagram the hikes we go on and the lattes we drink; she just acknowledges her intentions out loud. We all calculate our online presence, to the point where it detracts from our presence IRL. Marnie, aside from the vanity, makes legitimate efforts in her friendships - whether that be planning a birthday party for Hannah (even if only for the Gram proof), or hosting a girls weekend to heal her friendships - she’s trying. I felt bad for her when her perfect weekender blew up in flames - she put a lot of attention and detail into planning it and her friends just shat all over it. Maybe it wasn’t their cup of tea, maybe they didn’t want to do face masks and have a healing session but they could have shown some gratitude or appreciation. Hannah, while maybe not as concerned with her social media presence or hosting perfectly planned evenings, is still narcissistic and egotistical. She has the uncanny ability to make any and every situation about herself. This is what ultimately what led to one of my favorite scenes on GIRLS thus far, the Shoshana fueled explosion of calling it like you see it TRUTH. She says “you guys never listen to me. You treat me like I’m a f**king cab driver. Seriously, you have entire conversations in front of me, like I’m invisible. And sometimes I wonder if my social anxiety is holding me back from meeting the people who are right for me, instead of a bunch of whiny nothings for friends.” She may have been a cruel drunk but she finally shared all of her thoughts and feelings about her friends and may have opened up the opportunity for them to actually heal, in the way that Marnie originally intended. What is the point of their friendship? Why are they still friends if they are so different from one another? Maybe they are growing apart, maybe they are staying in each others lives because they have too much social anxiety to branch out or maybe they just really needed to say what has been on their minds all along.

Friendship requires effort. It requires saying things that you know may hurt your friends feelings but is in their best interest to hear. Friends are the people you share your innermost secrets with knowing that they won’t judge you, they are the people who you go to for support and advice. The girls of GIRLS are exaggerated examples of the stereotypes that exist within most groups of friends but their experiences aren’t as extreme as most make them out to be. We all have that friend who only plans fun events to have cute pictures to post, the friend who makes every situation about themselves and won’t shut up about their own life, the friend who somehow manages to never take accountability for their actions and the friend who lives in their own bubble of naïveté. In the end, friendship means accepting one another despite the differences that exist amongst the group. 

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

girlshbo:

Oh em effing gold: The Shoshi Games.

girlshbo:

Oh em effing gold: The Shoshi Games.

Video of the Day: "Marnie has this terrible habit of hooking up with people who her friends have relationships with." -

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

Looking- Season 1, Episode 4: Looking for $220/ Hour
LOOKING BACK: 
Welcome back for our fourth episode review of “Looking,” where we give you the rundown of last night’s episode, explore some ideas a bit further, and brace ourselves for what’s to come on this show. 
JP: In just 4 episodes, we’ve seen Patrick undergo quite a bit of self-doubt followed by self-reflection and attempted interpersonal growth. He’s starting to comfortably embrace who he is and those around him, (specifically Agustin) are the guiding forces leading him to self-actualization. Patrick is starting to embrace his sexuality and starting to realize that he doesn’t have to abide by societal structures of what is right or wrong. 
OP: Do you know how there’s some shows you’d recommend to friends with a qualifier? Like, “I love it, but it really picks up around Season 2, so give it time.” I personally have loved Looking from the jump, but I think this episode is the turnaround moment for the series, where the characters finally have something more to fight for, and I’d point to this episode as the place where it all popped off. “Looking” packs its punches in its verbal exchanges, telling stories that run deeper whether the characters are quietly looking out of a window alone in an office, or competing against loud music in a nightclub. For the first time in the series, I empathized with Patrick, and I appreciated his ability to man up and apologize to Richie, grounding himself in what is real and concrete and not some image of what his life is supposed to be. I also loved that the Folsom Street Fair served as a vehicle to explore what is appropriate versus marginalized in gay communities, what is fantasy versus reality, and really, how far our characters are willing to go outside of their long-established comfort zones. My only critique— how on earth did we see NO Dom at Folsom— such a wasted opportunity. 
LOOKING CLOSER:


FANTASY RELATIONSHIPS
OP: I worry that when I write these reflections of each episode that I’m focusing entirely too much time and energy in tracking Patrick’s growth, and not giving enough credit or due diligence to Dom or Patrick. But at the end of the day, this show is about Patrick, and he is the lens by which I am understanding this show— so, there. 
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve fallen for the work-wife/ work-husband trope so many times before in sitcoms, with Jim and Pam from “The Office” and Jim and Maggie from “The Newsroom,” being the worst offenders of this oft-used television writing convention. But never have I been so wrapped in a workplace fantasy relationship like Patrick and Kevin’s because frankly, it veers away from the cutesy cliches to actually showing two men that are starving to be close to someone that shares their perspectives in what is likely a straight-male dominated work-space. The scene of Patrick and Kevin observing Folsom from the window showed the depth of their earnest attempts to connect, and Patrick’s line about maybe, definitely owning a pair of assless chaps shows that these two are unafraid to be flirtatiously naked with their language, making no attempts to hide their affection. We get a sense of what Patrick feels about Kevin from Agustin’s labeling of him as Pat’s “billionaire dot com butt buddy,” showing that Kevin clearly matters enough to him to talk about with close friends and explains why Agustin notes that he’s “having a fantasy relationship with his boss.” Constant conversation about Kevin’s boyfriend fuels Patrick’s fascination and speaks to his stated desire for a stable relationship, but when Kevin goes so far  as to compares Patrick to his boyfriend, noting, “This is why i like talking to you about this stuff— you appreciate the finer points,” it’s not unnatural for Patrick to think of himself as competing for Kevin’s attention and intimacy. But he has to be careful to not confuse this workplace camaraderie with actual romantic interest, which is why he makes such a distinct effort to point out later that he left Kevin at the office, and even Agustin is surprised by the seemingly rational and mature decision-making Patrick demonstrates. As a final departure from the fantasy he has developed in his head, Patrick finally decides to make amends with Richie at STUDS, who does not make an apology easy, countering a “How are you?” with “Good. You know. Still cut,” striking down any chances of a smooth re-kindling. After an earnest explanation and apology, we see a recreation of the Dancefloor scene from Episode Two, this time set to Sylvester’s “I Need Somebody To Love.” I can finally rest in peace knowing that at least one television show decided to make their main character make a strong choice in not pursuing a workplace fantasy romance, as they CAN end well, but rarely do and create more trouble than they’re worth, especially for a character like Patrick who is already prone to living with his head in the clouds. 
JP: The episode opens with Patrick and Kevin in the office, working on a Sunday - & not just any Sunday, the Sunday of the Folsom Street Fair. Would either Kevin or Patrick be working if not for their obvious attraction to one another? Probably not. Patrick has a fantasy crush on Kevin, and Kevin likely entertains that crush because his long-distance relationship isn’t satisfying him. “You have to find someone who understands what you do,” Kevin says, insinuating that his boyfriend doesn’t and Patrick, who works in the field, does. Their chemistry is undeniable as they spend the morning working on the game. If Kevin weren’t his boss, I’d actually like him for Patrick. Ultimately, their Sunday in the office is cut short when Kevin’s boyfriend lands in San Francisco for a job interview and had expected Kevin to pick him up from the airport. Kevin apologizes to Patrick, who promises to stay and work on the game. 
Both Patrick and Kevin are living in a fantasy world; Patrick crushing on his boss and Kevin attempting to fill the emotional void created by his relationship with John. When Kevin asks,“Can we please get fried chicken.. I’m not allowed to at home. John refuses flat out,” Patrick realizes the role he plays in Kevin’s life and decides to call it a night and cancel the meeting slated for the next morning. Instead, he meets up with everyone at The Stud. Agustin’s earlier comment, “You get to flirt with him while he’s in the office, but then he gets to go home to his boyfriend,” undoubtedly influenced Patrick’s decision to leave. Agustin, notorious for calling it like he sees it, was right about Patrick’s crush on Kevin, it was unrealistic. Patrick wasn’t devastated about Kevin for long as he spotted Richie at the bar shortly after getting there. Frank suggests that Patrick go talk to him and somehow he finds the courage to do so. He apologizes for acting crazy on their last date insisting, “That’s not who I am.” Richie decides to give pretty blue eyes another chance proving that Patrick’s decision to leave his fantasy world was a good one.
LOOKING AHEAD:
Based solely on the preview of next episode from HBO, it looks like we’re going to get a lot more Richie and Patrick time, which we’re all on board for because we think it will peel back some of the layers of Patrick’s major insecurities and give us a sense of who this character really is. Whether he is struggling to live up to his mother’s expectations or resistant to the idea of wearing a leather vest, we have a sense that Patrick does have some deeply imbedded internalized homophobia, though he’s not completely unaware of it. We’re hoping that seeing Richie as an equal in the next episode will help him uncover some of this, as well as serve as an impetus for some growth and understanding of multiple life perspectives for our central character.
// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //

Looking- Season 1, Episode 4: Looking for $220/ Hour

LOOKING BACK:

Welcome back for our fourth episode review of “Looking,” where we give you the rundown of last night’s episode, explore some ideas a bit further, and brace ourselves for what’s to come on this show.

JP: In just 4 episodes, we’ve seen Patrick undergo quite a bit of self-doubt followed by self-reflection and attempted interpersonal growth. He’s starting to comfortably embrace who he is and those around him, (specifically Agustin) are the guiding forces leading him to self-actualization. Patrick is starting to embrace his sexuality and starting to realize that he doesn’t have to abide by societal structures of what is right or wrong.

OP: Do you know how there’s some shows you’d recommend to friends with a qualifier? Like, “I love it, but it really picks up around Season 2, so give it time.” I personally have loved Looking from the jump, but I think this episode is the turnaround moment for the series, where the characters finally have something more to fight for, and I’d point to this episode as the place where it all popped off. “Looking” packs its punches in its verbal exchanges, telling stories that run deeper whether the characters are quietly looking out of a window alone in an office, or competing against loud music in a nightclub. For the first time in the series, I empathized with Patrick, and I appreciated his ability to man up and apologize to Richie, grounding himself in what is real and concrete and not some image of what his life is supposed to be. I also loved that the Folsom Street Fair served as a vehicle to explore what is appropriate versus marginalized in gay communities, what is fantasy versus reality, and really, how far our characters are willing to go outside of their long-established comfort zones. My only critique— how on earth did we see NO Dom at Folsom— such a wasted opportunity.

LOOKING CLOSER:

FANTASY RELATIONSHIPS

OP: I worry that when I write these reflections of each episode that I’m focusing entirely too much time and energy in tracking Patrick’s growth, and not giving enough credit or due diligence to Dom or Patrick. But at the end of the day, this show is about Patrick, and he is the lens by which I am understanding this show— so, there.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve fallen for the work-wife/ work-husband trope so many times before in sitcoms, with Jim and Pam from “The Office” and Jim and Maggie from “The Newsroom,” being the worst offenders of this oft-used television writing convention. But never have I been so wrapped in a workplace fantasy relationship like Patrick and Kevin’s because frankly, it veers away from the cutesy cliches to actually showing two men that are starving to be close to someone that shares their perspectives in what is likely a straight-male dominated work-space. The scene of Patrick and Kevin observing Folsom from the window showed the depth of their earnest attempts to connect, and Patrick’s line about maybe, definitely owning a pair of assless chaps shows that these two are unafraid to be flirtatiously naked with their language, making no attempts to hide their affection. We get a sense of what Patrick feels about Kevin from Agustin’s labeling of him as Pat’s “billionaire dot com butt buddy,” showing that Kevin clearly matters enough to him to talk about with close friends and explains why Agustin notes that he’s “having a fantasy relationship with his boss.” Constant conversation about Kevin’s boyfriend fuels Patrick’s fascination and speaks to his stated desire for a stable relationship, but when Kevin goes so far  as to compares Patrick to his boyfriend, noting, “This is why i like talking to you about this stuff— you appreciate the finer points,” it’s not unnatural for Patrick to think of himself as competing for Kevin’s attention and intimacy. But he has to be careful to not confuse this workplace camaraderie with actual romantic interest, which is why he makes such a distinct effort to point out later that he left Kevin at the office, and even Agustin is surprised by the seemingly rational and mature decision-making Patrick demonstrates. As a final departure from the fantasy he has developed in his head, Patrick finally decides to make amends with Richie at STUDS, who does not make an apology easy, countering a “How are you?” with “Good. You know. Still cut,” striking down any chances of a smooth re-kindling. After an earnest explanation and apology, we see a recreation of the Dancefloor scene from Episode Two, this time set to Sylvester’s “I Need Somebody To Love.” I can finally rest in peace knowing that at least one television show decided to make their main character make a strong choice in not pursuing a workplace fantasy romance, as they CAN end well, but rarely do and create more trouble than they’re worth, especially for a character like Patrick who is already prone to living with his head in the clouds.

JP: The episode opens with Patrick and Kevin in the office, working on a Sunday - & not just any Sunday, the Sunday of the Folsom Street Fair. Would either Kevin or Patrick be working if not for their obvious attraction to one another? Probably not. Patrick has a fantasy crush on Kevin, and Kevin likely entertains that crush because his long-distance relationship isn’t satisfying him. “You have to find someone who understands what you do,” Kevin says, insinuating that his boyfriend doesn’t and Patrick, who works in the field, does. Their chemistry is undeniable as they spend the morning working on the game. If Kevin weren’t his boss, I’d actually like him for Patrick. Ultimately, their Sunday in the office is cut short when Kevin’s boyfriend lands in San Francisco for a job interview and had expected Kevin to pick him up from the airport. Kevin apologizes to Patrick, who promises to stay and work on the game.

Both Patrick and Kevin are living in a fantasy world; Patrick crushing on his boss and Kevin attempting to fill the emotional void created by his relationship with John. When Kevin asks,“Can we please get fried chicken.. I’m not allowed to at home. John refuses flat out,” Patrick realizes the role he plays in Kevin’s life and decides to call it a night and cancel the meeting slated for the next morning. Instead, he meets up with everyone at The Stud. Agustin’s earlier comment, “You get to flirt with him while he’s in the office, but then he gets to go home to his boyfriend,” undoubtedly influenced Patrick’s decision to leave. Agustin, notorious for calling it like he sees it, was right about Patrick’s crush on Kevin, it was unrealistic. Patrick wasn’t devastated about Kevin for long as he spotted Richie at the bar shortly after getting there. Frank suggests that Patrick go talk to him and somehow he finds the courage to do so. He apologizes for acting crazy on their last date insisting, “That’s not who I am.” Richie decides to give pretty blue eyes another chance proving that Patrick’s decision to leave his fantasy world was a good one.

LOOKING AHEAD:

Based solely on the preview of next episode from HBO, it looks like we’re going to get a lot more Richie and Patrick time, which we’re all on board for because we think it will peel back some of the layers of Patrick’s major insecurities and give us a sense of who this character really is. Whether he is struggling to live up to his mother’s expectations or resistant to the idea of wearing a leather vest, we have a sense that Patrick does have some deeply imbedded internalized homophobia, though he’s not completely unaware of it. We’re hoping that seeing Richie as an equal in the next episode will help him uncover some of this, as well as serve as an impetus for some growth and understanding of multiple life perspectives for our central character.

// Remember to follow us on Twitter @passthesnacks //